Are there selfless good deeds?

Arguing with Joey Tribbiani

In middle school, watching reruns of Friends was one of my favorite things to do. I vividly remember an episode in which Joey and Phoebe argue that there is no such thing as a selfless good deed.

Joey pointed out that our good deeds always have positive outcomes for ourselves, which makes them not truly selfless. We may have underlying self-centered motives that encourage our behavior, even subconsciously. We may do good for others to make ourselves look better, receive some future reward, or even just to feel better about ourselves.

This idea stuck with me ever since, and I think about it often. Growing up in a non-religious home, I had always agreed with Joey that, yes, there is no such thing as a selfless good deed.

However, once I came to faith in college, I slowly started to change my opinion.

Are Christians more loving?

Some people say that Christians are more loving and moral than atheists. However, not only do I think this is an unhelpful thing to say, but I also do not think it’s necessarily true. Sadly, I know many atheists whom I’d rather be around than Christians in my life.

However, what I do believe is that Christians have a higher capacity for love.

Or better yet, Christians have access to a unique kind of love. One that is self-giving, sacrificial, and unconditional.

This kind of love is called agape.

I believe that, in Christ, we can extend selfless love. We can care for our neighbor even when there is no benefit for us, whether socially or financially. We can love people in our lives for no other reason than the hope that loving them will bring them closer to Christ.

Even if we rarely achieve agape due to our sinfulness, we have the power to care for one another without it inflating our ego. We can love others purely out of love for Christ, knowing it will not make Christ love us any more.